New Story Process: Finalized story beats

After analyzing my story, I realized I needed to change my process in order to solve the following narrative problems:
- I have to shorten my story as the length is now too long
- The father and sons expectations are not clear
- The rules of the world need to be established

After speaking to Anezka, I decided that the best way for me to tackle my story issues would be to improvise a 2 minute dialogue between a father and son where the expectations are clear. Below is the dialogue I came up with.

dialogue between father and son

- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride
- we start to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound
- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself
- he looks back at the picture and then picks up the smaller version of his hat on the table and takes it over to his son
- the boy keeps playing
- the father interrupts the boys drumming
- "Stop that noise" he says
- shocked at his fathers tone the boy stops and looks at his dad
- "Son, it is time you learn the family tradition and be a rain doctor like me"
- "But Dad, I want to play the drums", "I'm Good at it- See" and the boy starts playing again.
- "Stop! Come now boy" he puts the small hat on the boys head. The boy starts looking annoyed.
"This was mine when my father taught me the rain dance and now it is yours. I'm going to show you how to use it and you'll see how much fun it can be. Now leave those stupid drums and come along."
- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and follows his father.
- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances.
- The boy looks annoyed
- "ok now you try"
- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.
- "Stop your doing it all wrong! Now watch me again." he starts dancing
- But the boy is looking away at his drums again
- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.
- lighting strikes and fire breaks out
- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance
- not much rain falling
- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums
- he starts playing furiously
- The dad looks towards him but annoyed
- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.
- The dad and boy start rejoicing,
- dad pats boy on the head "I'm proud of you son! You've shown me that being a drummer is as important as being a rain doctor."
- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his raindance while his son is drumming.
The end.


After this I went ahead and converted this dialogue into the following story beats:

- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride
- we start to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound
- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself
- he looks back at the picture and then looks at the smaller version of his hat in his hand and takes it over to his son
- the boy keeps playing
- the father interrupts the boys drumming and motions him to stop
- shocked the boy stops and looks at his dad
- The dad walks over and puts the hat he had in his hands on his sons head and then pushes the drums aside
- the boy looks upset, he immediately starts walking towards the drums but his father motions him to come back.
- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and goes to his father.
- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances .
- The boy looks annoyed
- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.
- The dad stops him and tells him to watch him again. he does the rain dance again.
- But the boy is looking away at his drums.
- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.
- lighting strikes and fire breaks out
- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance chanting as he dances
- not much rain falling
- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums
- he starts playing furiously
- The dad looks towards him but annoyed
- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.
- The dad and boy start rejoicing,
- dad hugs his son.
- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his rain dance while his son is drumming.
The end.