Showing posts with label Story Prototype. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story Prototype. Show all posts

Thursday, December 18, 2008

version 3 of the new story

Storyboard

- We see a long shot of Ranga's Meat Shop in the Jungle

- we go into the meat shop where we see a wall filled with pictures of generations of TIGER butchers that have owned this shop and we see a picture of the current ownder

- A LARGE TIGER is cutting meat with a big chopping knife, his back is turned to A YOUNGER VERSION OF HIM, HIS SON

- we see THE SON looking back to see if his dad is looking and then he goes back to what he was doing

- we see the boy making a small sculpture out of clay
-
- THE FATHER TIGER TURNS TO HIS SON

--(THIS IS A NEW SHOT) THE SON quickly puts his sculpture away

- THE FATHER APPROACHES THE SON WITH A LEG OF ZEBRA and lays it on the table in front of the boy

- HE HANDS the knife over to the boy

- THE BOY FROWNS -- POUTS AND SIGHS

- A DREAM APPEARS ABOVE HIS HEAD (we see his dream in 2d/3d cell shaded above his head) he is showing his dad his sculpture, his dad gets mad and cuts his dream in half. The dream vanishes)

- the boy gulps
-THE BOY LOOKS AT THE ZEBRA MEAT IN FRONT OF HIM

- he moves his hand up in preparation to cut, the knife flies out of his hand and gets stuck on the wall behind him BARELY MISSING HIS FATHER

- FATHER PULLS KNIFE OUT OF WALL AND TAKES A DEMONSTRATIVE WHACK AT THE MEAT-
-FATHER HANDS KNIFE OVER.
-SON CUTS- (we don't see what he's doing)

- CLOSE-UP OF FATHER'S FACE
-CLOSE-UP OF ZEBRA MEAT WITH SMILEY FACE CUT INTO IT

-SON BACKS UP --AFRAID AND OPENS FRIDGE
CLOSE UP PAN OF FRIDGE SHELF WITH ROWS OF CLAY BUSTS

- INTERCUT CLOSE UP DAD'S FACE----
he looks even more angry and starts throwing all the little sculptures out

- boy still squeamish as dad keeps throwing the sculptures out

- he stops his dad and shows him the big sculpture he made of his dad behind the little sculptures

- close up of boy's face as he waits to see what his father's reaction, he has a big smile on his face

- cut to dad's face -- his anger turns to puzzlement

- we see a little cloud appears above the dads head, (we see a younger version of him,
pouty, we see the hands of his father handing him a knife. he looks at the picture on the table next to him of a tiger in the circus, then looks at the meat in front of him and sighs) his dreams dissappears

- the dad smiles and pats his son on the head

- he picks up the meat sculpture

- scene fades

- mid Shot of Ranga's meat shop -- in the window we see the dad's sculpture along with al the other little meat sculptures. There's a sign in the window that says "BEST MEAT SCULPTURES IN ALL THE LAND"

-- the end

New story: 2









New Characters and Story: Post- midterm

From the midterm analysis, I realized that I had to stay away from the tribal theme in order not to be offensive. Also, I had to create a story with characters or an environment that clued the viewers in to Indian culture. Initially I had come up with a story about a boy who wanted to be a Bollywood actor and his struggle to communicate with his dad who wanted him to be a doctor. While these are Indian professions that kids would immediately recognize, they are too literal and uninteresting.
Therefore I decided to make the father and sons characters Indian tigers. This would be a lot more fun for animation and appealing to kids than human characters. I also changed the setting and professions. The story is now set in a meat shop that the father owns and the boy is a wannabe chef

These are the characters I came up with








This is the first version of the story I came up with:
Setting: A Meat shop in the jungle
Characters: Dad who owns the butcher shop
and his son (who wants to be a chef)
Both characters are tigers

- We see a long shot of a butcher shop in the jungle

- we go into the meat shop where we see a wall filled with pictures of generations of butchers that have owned this shop and we see a picture of the current ownder

- He is cutting meat with a big chopping knife, his back is turned to his son

- we see his son looking back to see if his dad is looking

- he goes back to his part of the table where he is a preparing a meal following along with the Indian chef (from Khana Kazana, an Indian cooking show) on TV

- While he is cooking we see the dad in the background is taking meat to the fridge and putting it in

- The boys head picks up when he hears the fridge open

- he shuts off the TV and starts putting all his stuff away before his father can see

- we hear the fridge close as he manages to put everything away

- the dad comes over to the boy with a big piece of meat in his hand and puts it on the table in front of him and hands him the cutting knife

- the boy looks at the raw meat in disgust

- he goes into a day dream (2d animation) where he sees himself dressed up in chef's attire with the meat cooked in the form of a gourmet meal presenting it to his father

- the dad gets mad and starts chasing his son with the butcher knife

- the boy gulps and his dream vanishes

- he looks back at the meat on the table and the knife

- he picks up the knife and starts cutting the meat but he does it all wrong

- the father gets mad and bangs his fist on the table for the boy to try again but get it right this time

- the boy looks at his chef's hat and gets mad

- he takes it out and puts it on his head and hands the meal he prepared to his dad

- the father gets furious and picks up his knife as he is not happy about what his son wants to do

- the boy sees his fathers rage and drops the plat on the table

- the dad chases him around the restaraunt with his knife in hand

- the boy panting, stops and motions his father to stop

- the father stops in his tracks

- he takes the food that he prepared and gives it to his father to taste

- the dad takes a bite a smile on his face as he enjoys the food he is trying

- the boy looks happy

- screen fades

- we see the dad in his butcher shop cutting meat, the picture behind him has the sons cooking with the boy

- the boy is next to his dad on the stove with a sign on the wall that says "Get your fresh Kebabs here!"

The end

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Final and current story

Taking the finalized beats that I created from my new process of improving a dialogue between a father and son, I came up with the following storyboard.

Click here to view boards.

New Story Process: Finalized story beats

After analyzing my story, I realized I needed to change my process in order to solve the following narrative problems:
- I have to shorten my story as the length is now too long
- The father and sons expectations are not clear
- The rules of the world need to be established

After speaking to Anezka, I decided that the best way for me to tackle my story issues would be to improvise a 2 minute dialogue between a father and son where the expectations are clear. Below is the dialogue I came up with.

dialogue between father and son

- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride
- we start to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound
- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself
- he looks back at the picture and then picks up the smaller version of his hat on the table and takes it over to his son
- the boy keeps playing
- the father interrupts the boys drumming
- "Stop that noise" he says
- shocked at his fathers tone the boy stops and looks at his dad
- "Son, it is time you learn the family tradition and be a rain doctor like me"
- "But Dad, I want to play the drums", "I'm Good at it- See" and the boy starts playing again.
- "Stop! Come now boy" he puts the small hat on the boys head. The boy starts looking annoyed.
"This was mine when my father taught me the rain dance and now it is yours. I'm going to show you how to use it and you'll see how much fun it can be. Now leave those stupid drums and come along."
- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and follows his father.
- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances.
- The boy looks annoyed
- "ok now you try"
- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.
- "Stop your doing it all wrong! Now watch me again." he starts dancing
- But the boy is looking away at his drums again
- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.
- lighting strikes and fire breaks out
- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance
- not much rain falling
- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums
- he starts playing furiously
- The dad looks towards him but annoyed
- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.
- The dad and boy start rejoicing,
- dad pats boy on the head "I'm proud of you son! You've shown me that being a drummer is as important as being a rain doctor."
- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his raindance while his son is drumming.
The end.


After this I went ahead and converted this dialogue into the following story beats:

- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride
- we start to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound
- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself
- he looks back at the picture and then looks at the smaller version of his hat in his hand and takes it over to his son
- the boy keeps playing
- the father interrupts the boys drumming and motions him to stop
- shocked the boy stops and looks at his dad
- The dad walks over and puts the hat he had in his hands on his sons head and then pushes the drums aside
- the boy looks upset, he immediately starts walking towards the drums but his father motions him to come back.
- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and goes to his father.
- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances .
- The boy looks annoyed
- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.
- The dad stops him and tells him to watch him again. he does the rain dance again.
- But the boy is looking away at his drums.
- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.
- lighting strikes and fire breaks out
- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance chanting as he dances
- not much rain falling
- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums
- he starts playing furiously
- The dad looks towards him but annoyed
- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.
- The dad and boy start rejoicing,
- dad hugs his son.
- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his rain dance while his son is drumming.
The end.

New Story Beats_FINAL_version 2

I've already had a few people read the story and give me feedback on it. They really like it but suggested introducing the son first as then it would be clear that he is the main character in the story. Keeping that in mind, I came up with this adjustment to the story.

- we see the father showing his a picture of himself and his father doing the rain dance when he was smaller.

- the father gives his son a smaller version of the hat he is wearing and asks him to put it on to learn the rain dance

- the boy looks upset and runs over to his drums and starts playing

- the dad walks over to the boy, the hat in his hands and motions for the boy to stop playing

- shocked the boy stops and looks at his dad

- The dad walks over and puts the hat he had in his hands on his sons head and then pushes the drums aside

- the boy looks upset, he immediately starts walking towards the drums but his father motions him to come back.

- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and goes to his father.

- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances .

- The boy looks annoyed

- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.

- The dad stops him and tells him to watch him again. he does the rain dance again.

- But the boy is looking away at his drums.

- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.

- lighting strikes and fire breaks out

- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance chanting as he dances

- not much rain falling

- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums

- he starts playing furiously

- The dad looks towards him but annoyed

- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.

- The dad and boy start rejoicing,

- dad hugs his son.

- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his rain dance while his son is drumming.
The end.

New Story Beats_FINAL_version 1

From the last story I presented, I realized that I had to shorten my story a lot as it was going over 2 minutes and there were too many characters. Also the father's expectations were not very clear. Keeping that in mind, I changed my process to develop this new story.

I started by writing out a dialogue between the father and the son making sure that both their expectations were clear. Once I wrote this dialogue out, I replaced it with actions. Below is the new story. I think it is clearer and the expectations definitely come through here. I have also limited the story to just two characters so this will be more manageable as far as time and production is concerned.

- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride

- he starts to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound

- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself

- he looks back at the picture and then picks up the smaller version of his hat on the table and takes it over to his son

- the boy keeps playing

- the father interrupts the boys drumming and motions him to stop

- shocked the boy stops and looks at his dad

- The dad walks over and puts the hat he had in his hands on his sons head and then pushes the drums aside

- the boy looks upset, he immediately starts walking towards the drums but his father motions him to come back.

- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and goes to his father.

- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances .

- The boy looks annoyed

- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.

- The dad stops him and tells him to watch him again. he does the rain dance again.

- But the boy is looking away at his drums.

- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.

- lighting strikes and fire breaks out

- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance chanting as he dances

- not much rain falling

- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums

- he starts playing furiously

- The dad looks towards him but annoyed

- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.

- The dad and boy start rejoicing,

- dad hugs his son.

- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his rain dance while his son is drumming.

The end.

Finalized story beats

I had a few people read my story and got some very valuable feedback. I found that the part of the story where the son beats the drums and the father's rhythm changes was confusing. The message that people were getting from this was that the father was getting angry at son because the when he beat the drums instead of the drummer, he was interrupting the father's rhythm.

So I changed it so the son plays the drums better than the drummer and thats what makes the rain fall even harder and helps the father put the big fire out. I also changed it so the father gets angry with the drummer for encouraging his son to play the drums. He send the drummer away because he is angry. When he holds his sons hands to stop him from playing the drums he is indicating that he doesn't approve and he doesn't want him to play the drums.

I think it is clearer now and the structure is a lot stronger. On thursday I will be presenting the story boards for these beats and will also show new character design for the father's character as he looked to close to the son.

- father and son are dancing to the sound of drum beats
- we see them dancing near a house raging on fire and people running around anxiously
- father and son keep dancing
- the rain starts falling and puts the fire out
- father looks happy and proud as he dances
- boy looks sad and uninterested
- fire is put out and everyone cheers with happiness
- boy looks very unhappy
- he looks at the drums that the drummer was playing and his face lights up
- He tries to start talking to his father
- but father's followers interrupt by worshipping him and giving praises and boy never gets a chance to tell his father what he wants
- father starts patting the boy on his head for a job well done
- boy looks very unhappy and walks away
- he starts walking to the drums and sits down near the drummer
- he starts playing the drums and his face gets happy so he keeps playing
- the drummer standing next to him starts cheering him on
- he father hears a different beat being played on the drums
- he hears laughter and looks over at his worshippers
- he sees that they are laughing and pointing at someone
- he looks in the direction they are pointing and sees his son playing the drums
- he gets angry and starts moving towards his son
- he gets angry at the drummer and sends him away
- he holds his sons hands to stop him from playing anger on his face
- the boy looks at his father and tries to pull his hands away so he can play
- his hands gets free and he beats the drums
- the father gets angry and holds his sons hands again to stop him from playing
- thunder sounds and there is sound of tree branches falling
- suddenly they both hear screams
- the worshippers come running to the rain doctor and his son, jumping about pointing to a fire that has broken out
- the father looks at the fire and there's panic on his face
- he looks at his son and pulls him so he can dance with him
- but the son looks at him and pulls his hands away
- panic on his face, the father leaves the boy where he is and starts doing his rain dance
- The rain starts to fall but its not enough to put out the fire
- The son looks around him but the drummer is no where in site
- He decides this is his chance to prove to his father that he should play the drums
- He starts playing the drums furiously playing it even better than the drummer did
- the fathers starts moving to the new beat that his son is playing
- thunder sounds again and the rain starts to pour
- the father keeps dancing while the son keeps drumming
- the rain pours even more and the fire is put out
- the worshippers surround the son and carry him up on their shoulders
- the father goes up his son and hugs him
- another devastating scream is heard
- village person runs by with his clothes on fire
- father and son look at each other
- son starts playing
- father starts to dance
- the screen fades out
the end

New story beats

Based on the suggestions I got from class, I simplified my story and made modifications. The structure is much clearer and I feel I can make the movements really fun and enjoyable while still getting the message across.

- father and son are dancing to the sound of drum beats
- we see them dancing near a house raging on fire and people running around anxiously
- father and son keep dancing
- the rain starts falling and puts the fire out
- father looks happy and proud as he dances
- boy looks sad and uninterested
- fire is put out and everyone cheers with happiness
- boy looks very unhappy
- he looks at the drums that the drummer was playing and his face lights up
- He tries to start talking to his father
- but father's followers interrupt by worshipping him and giving praises and boy never gets a chance to tell his father what he wants
- father starts patting the boy on his head for a job well done
- boy looks very unhappy and walks away
- he starts walking to the drums and sits down
- he starts playing the drums and his face gets happy so he keeps playing
- he father hears the drums and notices that his legs are starting to move differently
- he hears laughter and looks over at his worshippers
- he sees that they are laughing and pointing at someone
- he looks in the direction they are pointing and sees his son playing the drums
- he gets mad and starts moving towards his son
- he holds his sons hands to stop him from playing anger on his face
- the boy looks at his father and tries to pull his hands away so he can play
- his hands gets free and he beats the drums
- the father's legs start moving again out of control and he quickly stops the boy
from playing the drums again
- thunder sounds
- suddenly they both hear screams
- the worshippers come running to the rain doctor and his son, jumping about pointing to a fire that has broken out
- the father looks at the fire and there's panic on his face
- he looks at his son and pulls him so he can dance with him
- but the son looks at him and pulls his hands away
- panic on his face, the father leaves the boy where he is and starts doing his rain dance
- The rain starts to fall but its not enough to put out the fire
- The son looks at his father and decides this is his chance to prove himself to his father
- He starts playing the drums furiously
- the fathers legs start moving to a different beat,
- thunder sounds again and the rain starts to pour
- the father keeps dancing while the son keeps drumming
- the rain pours even more and the fire is put out
- the worshippers surround the son and carry him up on their shoulders
- the father goes up his son and hugs him
- another devastating scream is heard
- village person runs by with his clothes on fire
- father and son look at each other
- son starts playing
- father starts to dance
- the screen fades out
the end

Revised Animatic: 9/17

I revised the previous animatic because it was too rough. I redrew all the images and added more sequences so the actions would be more clear.
When I presented it class, I realized that the ending was still unclear and people were not able to understand the relationship between the raindance and the rain falling to put out the fire. Also the father's character looks too similar to the son so I have to make more of a distinction. Therfore I will first need to redesign the father's character.

I will also need to simplify the story as it needs to be understandable by my audience, Indian children between the ages of 8-12 yrs.

These were some possible changes that the class suggested to me that I might help clarify the story and simplify it:

- It needs to be clear that the rain falls when the father does his rain dance, so I will get rid of the thought bubble which shows him putting out the fire in the initial scenes.

- The ending will probably make more sense and be more enjoyable if the father's rhythm changes when the boy plays the drum and then it rains heavily. This would be good for animation because I can make his movements look really funny and make it all about the animation.

I will use these suggestions and integrate them in my original story as it was much clearer and the kids liked it.

More modifications to my story

This is the story board with modifications made. Here the brother has been removed from the story.







This is the animatic for the board.



Thesis story animatic from Rohini Metharam on Vimeo.

This was a very rough animatic that goes with this storyboard. It was too rough so I had to redo the animatic so that there is more detail and the story is easier to follow.

Modifications to the Initial Story







Link to the pdf of this storyboard

So... since the initial story worked well for me, I decided to stay with the same concept. I wanted to show how the boy discovered sound and so I decided to add a portion to the beginning. Here I also added another character, the boy's brother to show that the boy is a rebel. The idea here is that the brother makes fun of the main character for making sound with fruit. I also changed the ending. Now when the big fire happens, the father starts panicking and does his rain dance but the rain doesn't fall. So the son decides that he is going to help by running into the danger zone and burst all the landmines which burst when he beats it like the drums and water comes gushing out.
However, as I kept looking at this I realized that the brother in the beginning doesn't tie in with the rest of the story. Apart from that, it is clear that the boy is a rebel when he shows his father that he doesn't want to do the rain dance. So I decided that I would remove the brother from the story.

My initial Story Board







This is the story I had been working on since last semester. I have tested it out with 6 kids during the summer who liked the idea of the rain dance and the boy who wanted to be a drummer.

Matthew: 7
Christopher :5
Akshay :6
and three random Indian children whom my friend Natasha teaches dace to who were of the ages: 12, 13, and 8

When asked if they liked the story and what they understood from it, they were able to tell me the story and the moral: "The boy was happy in the end because he was able to play the drums. He was able to prove to his father that it was ok for him to play the drums."

The characters shown in this board were put in as placeholders for the final ones.